She was going to let him know anyway, so why didn’t she just tell him right away? A face that seemed to be angry and the low-pitched voice…
Seeing him holding back something, Elysia asked, pretending not to know.
Cassian laid down his data haphazardly and came right closer. As the distance got closer, only then did she see a red-hot face, clear evidence of him crying.
“…Did you cry?”
“Is that important?”
It was important. Elysia blamed herself for hurting him. She was upset that she couldn’t reach her hand that had reached out to touch his face and hovered in the air.
Cassian watched it silently and grabbed her wrist.
“Say it’s not.”
As he asked if everything he saw was true, she didn’t answer.
He gritted his teeth, unable to finish his words, seeing her like that. At the same time, Elysia took a deep breath as she prepared to listen to whatever he complained about.
“Did you really wait that long?”
“Why did you do that?”
She was taken aback by the completely unexpected question.
Cassian raised her from where she was sitting and led her to where he had left the information before taking out the portraits, mixing in the documents, and tossing them down on the table furiously.
Elysia looked at the portrait on the table and held her breath. First of all, she was waiting because he was a person like him in the past, and she was just trying to let him know, but why did things turn out this way?
“Why aren’t you asking? Have you really waited that long?”
Even though he was smiling, his eyes were cold. Was it sarcasm? No, it didn’t seem like that. Then, after waiting for the man for so long, she pretended not to know when he was reincarnated, and he got angry because he thought she had deceived him.
Elysia weighed in that direction. He looked very, very angry. Had Cassian ever hardened his face or sent a cold gaze at her like that?
She brought up her old memories.
Never. Had he ever suffered so much and looked at her with a distorted face? She didn’t think he was even like that when she lost her memory. Elysia couldn’t fathom his heart, so she managed to come up with an answer.
As she answered, his lips twisted upward.
Elysia felt her throat choke as she let out the breath she had been holding.
This moment was so terrible that it was hard to bear. Even if he thought he had been deceived, shouldn’t he laugh at her?
“What would you do if the man you are waiting for is not born? What if I’m not that man? You can just forget about him and live. Why… damn it.”
His grip on her wrist loosened, and Cassian’s body collapsed. The man holding her by the waist was silent for a long time.
His hand holding her was trembling. No, was his body shaking? If that wasn’t the case, perhaps she was the one who was trembling. Elysia realized that she couldn’t fathom his feelings but that he wasn’t doing this because she had deceived him.
A small, muffled sob penetrated her ears.
“I, I was wrong… I’m sorry.”
Elysia, unable to find words to reply to him, was choked, shutting her mouth. What was he sorry about? Was he apologizing on that man’s behalf? Why was he crying? Was he sorry for her? She didn’t want to receive that kind of sympathy.
At least she didn’t want him to feel that way.
“How on earth could this be this long…”
How was it possible to wait all these years, Cassian asked.
Elysia couldn’t say anything again.
As she clenched her fist tightly, he grabbed it and kissed the back of her hand. Her broad shoulders, which she had always embraced, could not bear the slightest tremors and shuddered greatly. Even so, he continued to press his lips as if to relax the fingers that he was holding with all his might.
“I, I didn’t recognize you right away.”
He kept saying he was sorry, sorry. Elysia’s body stiffened at that voice mixed with sobs.
“…What did you just say—”
Cassian, who was holding her by the waist as if clinging to her body, stood up.
As she grabbed his shirt, grasping him by the collar, rage flashed in her red eyes. Even if he knew that she was waiting for Cassian’s reincarnation, he shouldn’t imitate her. Pretending like that was unacceptable.
“If I found you, I would’ve just taken you and locked you up.”
Cassian said, kissing Elysia’s wet cheek.
As he clasped her hand around the collar, Elysia shook his hand away. Cassian muttered to her as he buried his face in the nape of her neck.
“Is my body scent not good now? You seem to be holding up very well.”
It was a friendly voice as if she should confirm it if she did not believe it, but the emotion contained in the words was by no means just that.
Elysia drew in her breath briefly.
She had vaguely imagined that she was waiting for him blindly. She wondered what it would be like if he remembered the time they spent together. Still, it was a long wish that she had given up on because it was really greedy and a miracle that couldn’t happen. If he was messing around right now… she really thought she might never want to see him again.
“Don’t play around. I won’t go…”
“I heard that the current aide is Lloyd’s descendant. How strange.”
He added, “Isn’t it great to be a coincidence?”
Unlike the light words, his voice was still wet. As Elysia blinked her eyes slowly, Cassian’s fingers ran slowly through her hair.
“I think you’ve gotten prettier.”
This was hope torture.
She didn’t have enough heart left to face the reality that had come to her. Her mind, exhausted by the endless disappointment and waiting, found it difficult to even think of such a thought.
Yes, because the place where she hid the information was where Lloyd used to stay. It was something that could be imitated. So, it must be that Cassian was so angry right now that he was playing tricks on her because he was sure he was a replacement.
She rather he had been angry with something else.
“This isn’t it. Don’t please…”
Elysia clung to him, pleading.
“Don’t do it! Don’t call me that…”
Embracing her collapsing body, he squeezed her chin gently though Elysia stubbornly lowered her head and did not raise her head.
“I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
“Then, show me your face. It’s been a while.”
It seemed like he was trying to play a joke.
Elysia laughed in vain and pushed him against the wall. It was a pretty hard bump, so his brow furrowed, but it was only for a moment. She grabbed the hand that was reaching out as if trying to wrap her waist again and pressed it.
“…I told you not to.”
Cassian forcefully removed her hand. Terrified that it might really break, Elysia bit his hand.
“Don’t cry… I don’t know what to do when you cry. I’d rather you hit me.”
“It is a lie. Could something like this be possible…”
“I don’t even know that.”
He, too, had a faint smile as if he couldn’t understand, and the distorted faces all came closer. He licked the tears that ran down her cheeks and murmured softly.
“I remember everything. Without fail.”
“If it’s a lie, I really will go…”
“No way. I can’t lie to you.”
Wiping away her tears as he kissed her, Cassian sucked her lip and pressed her lips several times as if waiting for her lips to part.
“If you are hungry.”
Just as she was thinking of what to say next, he said the same thing in her head.
“You can kiss me.”
Elysia, who flinched at those words, didn’t think he was lying anymore.
It was because she realized when they exchanged words like that. Perhaps it was when she lost her memory. In the carriage, he said the same thing to her, who had no memory of it. She could only remember a little of what was said after that.
A feeling of satisfaction that could not be compared to anything like a kiss filled her. She set her teeth and bit his lip, driving her fangs into the nape of his neck.
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