Hello! Came across this novel as I absolutely love Ye Feiran’s work. Though I am not a native speaker of Chinese, I thought of using MTL (with a few edits to help with the flow) to bring this wonderful story. It’s currently on-going; however, as with most of Ye Feiran’s work, it should be completed in the next 1-2 months!
Please let me know if there are any edits/things I translated incorrectly, and I will fix them! Enjoy this story!
Chapter 1: Gu Yan, you have the right to have a crush, but to confess like this is a crime!
The scorching sun in June was like a fire, and there was a loud cicada chirping from the tress outside the gymnasium window. Qi Xi sat backstage, feeling a mixture of nervousness, melancholy, and daze.
The graduation ceremony is about to begin, and soon, she would speak as Rongda Law School’s most outstanding graduate representative.
Her four-year law school stint was coming to an end, and truly speaking, as the most beautiful and top-student of law school, Qi Xi’s university life could only be described as “smooth sailing.” The only thing that caused her dissatisfaction was her unpleasant rival, Gu Yan.
As her classmate for the past 4 years, Gu Yan stole countless opportunities and awards from Qi Xi.
Over the 4 years, Qi Xi, who obsessively studied like a hermit, was still unable to score higher than Gu Yan on any exam… not even once.
Gu Yan was always number 1, and she was always number 2.
Sometimes, she lost by only a few points, but who remembers second place?
Perhaps the most unacceptable thing for Qi Xi was that Gu Yan won almost effortlessly each time. Unlike Qi Xi who gave up all entertainment and social interaction, this man participated in everything. Law school activities, whether it was a debate or competition, basketball game, moot court, or legal aid.
He brightly shined on every stage, earning the attention and praise of girls with his impeccable face and figure… polluting Qi Xi’s space with his constant spiritual presence.
He was a master of time… perfect in almost all fields, defeating her with ease while she struggled.
Knowing she tried her best and still lost to Gu Yan made Qi Xi frustrated, and as time passed, her frustration turned to anger.
She understood that Gu Yan had done nothing wrong. The two of them didn’t even interact as much, but she couldn’t help but hate him over the years.
However, instead of Gu Yan, she was selected as the outstanding representative to speak on behalf of the graduates.
Feeling a rush of pleasure as though she won a city, Qi Xi silently recited her speech again. But as she thought about it, she called her father, Qi Rui Ming.
“Dad, where have you been? The graduation ceremony will begin later…”
Just before she finished speaking, Qi Rui Ming interrupted her, “What’s the matter? Dad still has to go to intermediate city court. I have to be there right away…”
Dad really forgot!
Qi Xi collapsed a little, “Dad, today is my graduation ceremony, you said you would come! As the student representative, I will be in—,”
Qi Rui Ming, on the other end of the phone line, obviously did not take this matter seriously. He interrupted Qi Xi, casually coaxing, “Xi Xi, Dad is too busy. My client’s court trial can’t be delayed. Not to mention so many of your classmates came from distant places. Not many parents would have come to the graduation ceremony. You can find someone to take a photo, and then you can send it to me. Let’s not talk about it anymore. Will hang up.”
Qi Rui Ming didn’t even give Qi Xi a chance to finish her sentence and just hung up the call in his usual manner.
Indeed, there are very few parents who came today for the graduation ceremony, but the honor of being student speaker at a graduation ceremony was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And Qi Rui Ming hung up on her like usual… She stared at the speech in her hands, feeling a little irritable.
Although this speech was originally drafted by Qi Xi, it was revised 3-4 times by her counselor, and thus, it long lost the essence of what Qi Xi originally wanted to say.
It was soulless and righteous.
But, in order to be able to speak on stage, Qi Xi accepted all these changes.
But now, as she practices reciting the last paragraph of the speech, she noticed some incoherence. And her dissatisfaction deepened, especially after her father hung up on her.
Noticing it was getting late, Qi Xi stood, wanting to find her counselor to discuss whether they could add a paragraph to make the transition smoother.
Qi Xi found the counselor backstage, chatting with a teacher from the Academic Affairs Office. His back was facing her.
“Time flies do fast! Another class is about to graduate. Who will speak at this year’s graduation ceremony?”
“It’s Qi Xi.”
“Qi Xi? The second place? Why didn’t you find Gu Yan? Isn’t he better?”
When she heard they were talking about her, Qi Xi’s froze. She was always curious about the reason the counselor found her, initially thinking she was more hardworking and tenacious as a student.
Unexpectedly, Qi Xi found otherwise—
“Gu Yan is better, handsome, stable, and there are many girls in law school. His speech would have been positively received by the audience. But what can be done? He is unwilling to cooperate with the revision of the speech, saying that if he was to speak, it must be completely respecting his wishes. He didn’t accept his speech to be revised.”
The teacher at the Academic Affairs Office laughed, “No way, boys are more individualistic. The stronger their personality, the stronger their ability. Although girls are very obedient, they have no ability to innovate or lead others.”
The counselor couldn’t help but sigh, “Actually, at such a big event like a graduation ceremony, boys’ mentality is more stable. Qi Xi is a girl. I’m worried and nervous that I will be played.”
Soon after, the counselor’s tone became relaxed, “But, she’s a girl. Qi Xi is very obedient. She changed everything I asked for. I revised the final draft several times, and even asked her to practice reciting it in advance. Normally, there would be no problems, but the chiefs of the academy are coming today, so nothing can go wrong.”
The two quickly chatted about something else, but Qi Xi had cold hands and feet, not listening to a single word soon after.
Instead of looking for the counselor, she held the speech in her hand, walking backstage in silence.
It turned out that she received the outstanding student speaker recognition because Gu Yan didn’t want it himself.
Gu Yan, Gu Yan, Gu Yan is everywhere! Everyone likes Gu Yan!
Even on her way to the gym to practice rehearsing some more, Qi Xi accidentally came across a scene of a girl confessing to Gu Yan.
“Sorry, I don’t like you. I already have someone I like. I’m planning on confessing to her today, so you have no chance.”
The girl had confessed despite being nervous. She humbly asked Gu Yan for a chance, but Gu Yan replied with such indifference. He hadn’t seen Qi Xi, but after refusing the girl, he turned around and left. Polite yet distant. Not giving the girl any chance to hope for more.
How can such a ruthless man be liked by others? Someone who spoke with such stinkiness. Do he deserve to be liked by others?
At this moment, combined with knowing she had picked up Gu Yan’s leftovers as student speaker, Qi Xi’s anger towards Gu Yan almost reached it’s peak.
She sincerely hoped the girl Gu Yan planned to confess to would ruthlessly reject him!
Because Qi Xi was busy scolding Gu Yan internally, the moment she heard his voice, she became startled.
She raised her head slowly, and indeed, it was Gu Yan standing before her.
Truly speaking, Gu Yan’s looks were one in a thousand. Tall stature, excellent proportions, the image of sunshine and fresh grass no matter where he is. Even now, he is bathed in the fine sunlight which passed through the gymnasium ceiling. In the midst of the light and shadows, she could see his face. A unique mixture of innocence and maturity. It was no accident indeed. He was a handsome man.
If he smiled, surely, many girls would go weak.
Even if she hadn’t paid much attention to it before, she knew that Gu Yan was photographed many times before while shopping outside. In law school, he could be misunderstood as a thief of hearts. A crime worthy of being sent to the police!
Qi Xi’s heart jumped nervously as Gu Yan’s lips pursed lightly. She glared at him with a bit of sternness, “What’s the matter?”
Gu Yan opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he didn’t say anything. He paused and gave Qi Xi the object in his hand, “Your book.”
Qi Xi looked at it and saw that it was her LSAT question book.
“You forgot it in the library.”
After Gu Yan finished speaking, he glanced at Qi Xi, who placed the book down, before turning away.
Baffled, Qi Xi had mixed emotions. The LSAT preparatory book represented the countless days and nights she studied in the library.
The counselor’s words made her confused again. Subconsciously opening the book, a letter fell out.
“To my favorite Qi Xi Baby,”
The title of the letter was quite shocking for Qi Xi.
This is… is this a love letter?
Gu Yan had handed this book to her and earlier he mentioned he was planning on confessing today, so…
It turns out the stinky man liked me? Gu Yan actually likes me? This love letter is for ME?
Qi Xi was absolutely confused.
Her heart was beating violently as she recalled Gu Yan’s face and figure. It was hard to imagine such a cold person writing such a disgusting letter and giving it to Qi Xi Baby…
Here comes the biggest problem… do I want to accept someone who calls me Qi Xi baby? Or should I refuse? After all, Gu Yan and I have many old and new wounds between us that can’t be explained…
But… but his face and figure are also really good. He places first every time so his IQ should be very strong. Why don’t you go undercover? Accept him and then master all the barbarian skills he used to place first?
Qi Xi opened the love letter amidst confusion and tension… and then, her face blackened.
“My little baby, I fell in love with you first sight, thinking about you day and night, but I was too afraid to confess. Now that I am about to graduate, I decided to be brave and confess to you. I love you. I love you so much that I can’t sleep. All I think about is you. I go through the clouds and rain as you dance through my dreams.
“My darling, I think you must be interested in me, otherwise you wouldn’t seduce me by wearing clothes that are tight-fitting, showing off your figure. When you move in front of me, I see your chest, waist, ass… I can’t walk! All these images in my dreams! You make people haggard. I can’t sleep well, I feel empty as if I am about to be hollowed out.
“So you committed a crime against me. And I, with all my love, sentence you to life imprisonment with me! I don’t want to be hollowed out by sleepless nights in the future. I want you to hollow me out instead, every night of the future!”
Qi Xi couldn’t believe her eyes.
Is this a love letter? More like sexual harassment! Absolutely disgusting too!
When did I seduce you? The “tight-fitting” clothes she wore was a dance suit, designed to highlight her curves. But, she never danced and twisted her body in front of Gu Yan alone! I was forced to participate in the Mid-Autumn Academy Ball! It’s a normal artistic performance in front of the whole academy!
Qi Xi stared at the final signature of this love letter—
The two big characters “Gu Yan” shiningly brightly in front of her, declaring that what she saw was not a dream.
I expected Gu Yan to be a cold and serious person. I didn’t expect him to be so filthy on the inside! This person is simply harmful trash!
Qi Xi decided she would not involve herself with the harmful Gu Yan. She placed the letter in the book.
Taking a deep breath, Qi Xi finally made up her mind. She handed the LSAT book to her good friend Zhao Yanyan, who happened to pass by, and changed the speech to look similar to the speech revised by the counselor. After many paper balls where thrown into the trash, she was ready.
She hoped to show everyone that girls don’t have stage fright, that they don’t always obey. Girls have their own thoughts and free will. Girls are not accessories of any man… not the “obedient, well-behaved, and docile” stereotypical puppet.
“Today, before the commencement speech, I received a love letter which made me change the speech that was already finalized. On spot, I want to tell you about the prejudice against women in this society and the power women should have to fight against it!”
It was a bold rebellion, but also a temporary play of anger. Regardless, Qi Xi never felt so confident. She was no longer the second ranker but her true self. Though a little nervous in the beginning, once she began, Qi Xi spoke more smoothly, full of energy.
“The proportion of girls in law school has always been much higher than that of boys. But why do most people still think boys are more likely to succeed? How many of our undergraduate, master, and doctoral students have stayed in school afterwards? Even the law school itself unknowingly practices employment discrimination! When recruiting, men are given priority, and men who stay in school and teach are given priority. Society needs women! But it oppresses and disrespects women.
“I hope all law school graduates, men and women, can fight for gender equality. So please, for every man, if you like a girl, it’s best to pursue her with respect. Non-verbal harassment and objectification should not be allowed.”
At this moment, thousands of eyes are focused on Qi Xi, but her face is solemn. Even though the counselor’s face was white and light-headed, Qi Xi didn’t care.
The only thing she cares about is the initiator of it all. Gu Yan.
He stared at her intently, though the one to be blamed for such a reckless action, he had no guilt or shame on his face.
Considering the grievances she faced in the past 4 years… the repression of not being recognized, the resentment of being labelled and suppressed, the humiliation of receiving such an obscene confession, Qi Xi’s blood boiled.
Most girls in the audience were also emotionally charged. The atmosphere of the graduation ceremony was white-hot.
As if she couldn’t help it, she turned to stare at Gu Yan, and with a hearty and passionate exclamation, she finally pushed towards the end of her climatic speech. Like a burst of flames, she announced:
“Gu Yan, you have the right to have a crush, but it’s an absolute crime to confess like this!
“I hope you remember that I am someone you can’t catch up with in your lifetime. Girls in law school are never the ones you can harass!”
Gu Yan, today, I will tear off your beastly skin!
Qi Xi’s words were like a drop of water dripping into a scalding oil pan. There was immediate uproar in the scene. Sure enough, all eyes turned to Gu Yan. Qi Xi stood on stage, waiting for Gu Yan to run off in panic and flee.
But he didn’t.
Gu Yan simply frowned, face darkening as his lips were tightly pressed together. He didn’t say a word, didn’t do anything, just stared at Qi Xi on stage.
What? Didn’t you wrong me? You had the guts to give me the letter but don’t have the guts to admit it?
Qi Xi calmly bowed and thanked the audience amidst the chaotic scene. She walked off the stage gracefully and generously.
Under the stage, Zhao Yanyan looked at Qi Xi with a desperate expression of “You’re Done For!“
Qi Xi felt good regardless. As she sat next to Zhao Yanyan, she unscrewed the bottlecap to her mineral water, taking a sip, “Aren’t you happy Zhao Yanyan? We have all graduated. Even if the college leaders and counselors are not happy, what can I do? This is the only time I rebelled in my adolescence. Speak truthfully! It’s no big deal.”
Zhao Yanyan still held the LSAT book that Qi Xi had given her previously, “Qi Xi, have you read the love letter?”
“Turn it over and look at the back.”
Qi Xi was a little surprised, “There’s more in the back?”
Wasn’t the signature in the front? Could it be that Gu Yan still had a few more unfinished words? Did he write a few more monologues in the back, further tarnishing himself.
Qi Xi felt refreshed as she just finished delivering such an important speech. Flipping the love letter to the back, she discovered the terrible truth.
This love letter is truly unfinished…
Because soon after the disgusting confession with Gu Yan’s name, was the words, “roommate Zhang Jia Ling.” So combined, the signature was: Gu Yan’s roommate Zhang Jia Ling.
The letter was not written by Gu Yan.
It was written by Gu Yan’s roommate Zhang Jia Ling!
She had just insulted the wrong person with passion!
Why didn’t I think about turning the letter over and looking at it?
Qi Xi felt suffocated in an instant. As if she was choked by her terrible fate, she slowly turned around and looked back at Gu Yan who was sitting not far behind her.
Sure enough, Gu Yan ignored the inquiring eyes of many others, his eyes passing through the crowd as he stared at her.
His face was still fair and handsome, but now the body was surrounded by a black aura like the old black mountain demon.
At this moment, Qi Xi felt his eyes were dark and forehead swollen.
Zhao Yanyan added the fuel to the fire, “You are finished, Qi Xi, you are really finished! This is a bloody feud that cannot be shared…”
Qi Xi also knew she was finished.
Thinking about going out for breakfast this morning, she had passed a fortune teller who cheated her of her money. Using many different technical terms as he told her that she was going to have a disaster in the near future as if she was cursed. The crack pot was really right.
She wanted to buy a standing ticket to outer space right now so she could escape Earth this moment.